Bottom Dance … Over Handbags

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I have ABSOLUTELY no rhythm, nor do I have any coordination.

During aerobics classes or anything requiring me to follow another persons movements I am the one at the back doing the opposite and getting in a bluster.

The kids both start swimming lessons in September. Swimming I can do. In fact I tried aqua aerobics and loved it. Under all that water no one can see your uncoordinated flailing.

Dancing? Not unless I’ve drunk the best part of a bottle of vodka and then I probably dance like my Dad, though I can’t remember … vodka has that effect. Plus, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen my Dad dance.

I still have horrifying flashbacks to our wedding party which was held the day after our wedding in a bar. We had a wonderful 6 piece latin american style band and right at the beginning of the night they asked the husband and I to come up and dance. I was mortified. Not only was it still light outside, but due to chatting with our guests I hadn’t had the required alcohol intake not to care. It wasn’t a nice sedate number either, it was a full freestyle flamenco … I exaggerate, but it was hideous.

The husband likes to dance, he has rhythm. Friends still talk fondly of the ‘bottom dance … over handbags’ night. We’d gone out with our baby group six months after giving birth top our first babies. The ladies all put their handbags in the middle of the circle (we still do that Oop North, occasionally) and the husband shook his booty danced over all of the handbags for quite some time. At a friends wedding he got so into the groove that he grabbed the best man round the neck and swung him wildy round without a care in the world to the Happy Mondays and Step On.

Trying to give my daughter the best chance I enrolled her in freestyle dance lessons. She lasted three weeks before refusing to return. She still has nightmares about ‘the conga’. I enrolled her in ballet, thinking it would be more sedate, but no, still traumatised by the conga she clung to me. I gave up in the end and decided to let nature take it’s course. … You’ve either got it or you haven’t.

It’s something I never thought I’d say, but, let’s hope the 5 year old has inherited her father’s ‘bottom dance … over handbags’ gene.

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7 Responses to “Bottom Dance … Over Handbags”

English Mum on August 4, 2009

Oh God. I can’t dance either. The kids and the hubby have watched those YouTube videos when everyone struts their funky stuff down the aisle, but I’m terrified… still, might be entertaining.

And I’m sure I saw you dance a little jig and it was quite rhythmic – maybe that was the mojito…

Jo on August 4, 2009

I think I need a video of this bottom dance that involves handbags. I’ve seen a lot of dances, but I’ve not even heard of dancing over handbags! Us Americans are really missing out…

Laura WOB on August 4, 2009

LOL. We don’t all dance round handbags up north i’ll have you know he. I also have the defected dance gene as does my three year old but my eldest is quite the booty shaker and shock horror has rhythm – but she definately does not get it from her dad! The twins have yet to display any dancing prowess but there’s still time….i hope.

Mwa on August 4, 2009

I have no coordination either, but I do love to dance when it’s dark enough and not too many people are watching. I’m trying to imagine this dance of your husband’s. I think I need a video, too.