From Gramps …
My recent manic search for the elusive Go Go Hamsters has brought back memories of various smelly pet rodents and a rabbit called Snowball that you had as a child.
To be precise, you ‘had’ to hold and cuddle leaving me, like most fathers, to muck out the cages. I remember at least one hamster which, on one of its evening outings in the lounge created a neat circular hole in the new carpet. It emerged from under the TV cabinet looking very furtive with its pouches packed with a mixture of carpet pile and jute. To add insult to injury, the hamster, having been summarily returned to his cage disgorged the contents of his pouches and proceeded to use the debris from my carpet to line his nest.
There is also a vague recollection of a mouse but I am not certain, as there is only one image in my mind. It is this. You and I are standing at the counter of the local video shop and I am surprised to see out of the corner of my eye a mouse emerging out of the breast pocket of your blouse. Not as surprised as the girl serving us if this recollection is true.
Snowball the rabbit I have clearer memories of. The name sounds suspiciously obvious so that may be wrong but for the sake of telling the story I’ll stick with it. We bought Snowball on the usual clear guarantees that you would not only hug the large and cuddly Lagomorphs (that’s what rabbits are; not rodents as I thought, and many people think) but that you would, in addition to lavishing love and affection on your new pet, feed and perform the more unsavoury task of cleaning out the cage.
This arrangement, predictably, soon lapsed to just the giving of hugs.
After much thought I had the answer; a moment of design brilliance. Snowball could live in the lean-to shed that leaned on the back of the garage. I would cut a round hole in the bottom of the shed door. From this hole would run a piece of flexible tube connecting the shed to a large moveable cage made with a timber framed covered with chicken wire mesh. The rabbit would hop happily through the tube to the cage which I would move to a different patch of the lawn every morning before leaving for work. I assumed, wrongly, that Snowball would neatly crop the grass thus reducing the number of times I would need to get the lawnmower out.
Unknown to me Snowball was a closeted member of a World War I historical re-enactment society. Possible the UK’s only Lagomorphs member. Instead of neatly cropping the grass he proceeded to construct a scale model of the Somme battlefield complete with trenches and shell craters. Within a week he had a full set; Passchendaele, Vimy Ridge and Arras.
This scheme was not going to plan, before long I would have the complete Western Front.
I was thinking about re-grassing the top of the lawn, probably with Snowball under the slabs of turf when the problem resolved itself.
Snowball’s re-enactment interests moved forward in history; to the Second World War. This time he enacted the Great Escape. Without the vaulting horse, the motorbike and forged papers it lacked the historical accuracy of his First World War creations but he did have the tunnel. A big one.
It was rather unfortunate that, by coincidence, the local foxes Historical Re-enactment Society were re-enacting the German occupation of Europe 1939 – 45.
Poor Snowball was never seen again.
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Bec on January 6, 2010
Christ on a bike this man makes me laugh like a deranged person! Any chance of a signed photo for me to pin on my fridge???
admin on January 7, 2010
It could be arranged!
Jodie at Mummy Mayhem on January 6, 2010
Oh, Lordy…Gramps has done it again. What a funny, funny fellow he is! And a storytelling genius. GENIUS, I tell you.
What a great record of wonderful memories…
admin on January 7, 2010
I love it – he’s working on more, should have one a week for a while now.
audreyhorneforever on January 6, 2010
Oh, Laura. Your dad is a comedic gem. Poor Snowball – damn those dastardly foxes!
admin on January 7, 2010
Snowball, poor Snowball.
Do you remember when I first met you and I told you the story of Gramps and the dog? That one will be out soon, just working out how it should be told!
Heather on January 6, 2010
You know we only stick around here to listen to gramps. The man is natural at this blogging malarky, isn’t he.
admin on January 7, 2010
He is very good, clearly I learned everything I know from him *cough*
Daddy on January 6, 2010
I see Gramps is now researching his posts.
Bravo, Victor!
Almost American on January 6, 2010
Very entertaining! Thank you for letting him share that story!
admin on January 7, 2010
He’ll be sharing much more
Emma @ Notsuchayummymummy on January 6, 2010
You’re Dad is the funniest person in the world! I’m laughing like a drain! More please!
admin on January 7, 2010
There will be more … each week he should be guesting