We once holidayed in France. Spending 24 hours in the car with two children under 3 is not to be taken lightly.
Before we went people kept asking me if I’d bought a portable DVD player for the children. I would look at them horrified. Why would I need a portable DVD player when I had spent endless hours thinking up ‘fun’ activities, packing exciting books and thinking up a myriad of entertaining songs?
I never had a portable DVD player when my parents used to take me on ‘adventures’ through deepest darkest Spain … no, I thought up my own entertainment.
Of course three hours into our journey to France I would have given my kidney, a leg and possibly an eyeball to have one to thrust at them and drown out their whining voices.
Anyway, they would sleep for at least 12 of the 24 hours, wouldn’t they? Err, no. They would sleep for approximately one hour each during the entire journey … and not at the same time.
So, instead of buying a portable DVD player I simply vowed never to travel great distances with the children again. Sometimes a trip to Tesco is too far.
My latest problem comes in the form of a Nintendo DS. The 5 year old has wanted one, well … forever really. Having a teenage sister who spent 3 years glued to hers shortly before she discovered mascara and skinny jeans just made the need even greater.
Imagine the look on her face last Christmas when she realised that Santa hadn’t been able to read her writing properly on her letter to him. She got a pony which moves it’s neck, eats carrots, flutters it’s eyelashes and neighs … like a real horse. “I cannot believe that Santa didn’t bring me a Nintendo DS. What was he thinking?” Followed by a big sigh and her head in her hands.
Her birthday came and went, with no DS but a poxy trampoline that her brother LOVES. She thinks this is it, this is the year. She has been practicing her Christmas list since the blip last year and she’s ready. There WILL be one this year, of that she is sure.
It’s not that I am against modern technology or being a big old meanie but I know my daughter well. I love that she spends hours singing to herself in her bedroom whilst drawing, or chattering to herself in a make believe world or playing in the garden for hours with only her brother and her imagination.
I just don’t want the arguments about how much time she spends staring at it with a glazed expression, we have Cbeebies for that.
But I have been taken in, I am faltering. I am torn, my head is screaming “Noooooooooooooo!”, my heart is telling me that if I don’t she will never forgive Santa and then her make-believe world will come crashing down round her ears anyway.
After all EVERYONE else has one.
So, this is it, I’m giving in. This could be the 5 year old’s best Christmas yet.
Oh and I’ve remembered what I used to do for entertainment in the back of the car during our adventures in Spain circa 1985. I used to either sing the tune from the ‘Trio’ or the ‘Um Bongo’ adverts on repeat … OR … pretend that my parents had kidnapped me and wave through the back window at other drivers in a demented fashion … and we can’t be having that.
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Hot Cross Mum on October 6, 2009
LOL! OH, what a dilemma. I feel your pain. We’re resisting the urge to get a Scalextric for the boys (4 & 2) – the 4 yr old would love it but the 2 yr old would just take it apart and eat it and there would be hell. Think we’ll try and eek out the Thomas trains and Playmobil pirates for one more year! I’m sure Santa is in agreement!
Laura Driver on October 6, 2009
Hold out as long as possible. The 3 year old has only just learnt that destroying the 5 year old’s toys just isn’t right!
aprilk on October 6, 2009
Oh dear – true though – the longer you can put off DS the better – my little ones used to draw, make up imaginary games, zone out to DVD’s occasionally* But now they have bloody DS’s and DS’s mean DS games, which mean frustration when they can’t win, or $65 spent on something NEVER played, and we took them on a 4 hour drive with DS’s – didn’t help – lasted about 1/2 an hour before “are we there yet” began…sigh…
You are very brave for even attempting that drive with small children. Very impressed. Hope holiday was worth it…
*used in the way of not really occasionally but actually well, quite often
Laura Driver on October 6, 2009
No, the holiday wasn’t worth it, the rain fell the whole time. Soggy, drizzly France … lots of red wine though!
I’m going to have to be strict with when she plays on it I think.
SingleParentDad on October 6, 2009
I have a similar dilema. The boy’s birthday is really close to Christmas, so I have two hits to avoid, or fill with other presents in a short space of time. I also quite like the idea of updating our games console, I still have a PS2 that I had when they were launched. Tricky, tricky tricky.
admin on October 6, 2009
The 3 year old’s birthday is a month after Christmas so I know how hard it is to try and make each occasion special although failed miserably last year when he got a leftover present from Christmas that I’d kept back … he didn’t know. I will try harder this year!
Mind you – all he wants is a remote control dinosaur, so that’s easy!
Brit in Bosnia on October 6, 2009
We’ve just signed up for 2×15 hour plus car journeys in a 2 week period over Christmas (Bosnia to Geneva and back). I’m in denial. We are getting a DVD player. I can’t take the whinging and the fighting in the back of the car.
We are a no playstation house though… mainly because the children don’t know they exist yet.
admin on October 6, 2009
That’s great that they don’t know they exist.
… and yes – GET THE DVD PLAYER!!
Insomniac Mummy on October 6, 2009
Big E is totally unaware of the magic of the DS…..thank the Lord!
We bought a game for him for his Daddy’d PSP but he isn’t bothered about it.
This year Daddy wants to buy him a Scalextric. Methinks it is for Daddy and not my boy!!
And yep, I remember totruring my family with constant repitition if the Treeeeeo, treee eee eee oh! and Umbongo songs too.
admin on October 6, 2009
For you, a trip down memory lane – http://tinyurl.com/cyevkf
Insomniac Mummy on October 6, 2009
Classic!
And OMG! How bad was my spelling earlier?! Must correct myself:
totruring = torturing
repitition = repetition
Gah!
admin on October 7, 2009
Do you know what? I was so tired last night when I was replying that your spelling went completely unnoticed!
Littlemummy on October 6, 2009
We used to do the demented waving thing when we were kids, a point for everyone that waved back.
Erin (aged 3!) has also been after a DS, I’m considering it for her birthday in February.
admin on October 6, 2009
My friend used to have a Volvo estate with two seats in the boot which was just AMAZING. Really good for waving at people behind.
more4mums on October 6, 2009
I too am giving in this year – all my 5 year old’s friends seem to have one. We will have to ration her but it is the only thing she really wants.
I am more worried about the 3 year old getting her hands on it and doing god knows what to it !
admin on October 6, 2009
I too am worried about what my 3 year old might do. He has shown no interest in a DS, but I wonder what he’ll think when she has one. Hopefully nothing. But will have to make sure it’s put away somewhere safe!
Lindy on October 6, 2009
hmm I’m still in the ‘hell no she won’t get one of those until she’s 30′ stage. Of course I also looked down my nose once at a portable DVD player Guess who bought one of those when she was traveling to the US alone w/ a 3 yr old? Any guesses?? Wouldn’t be me nope. never. ahem.
admin on October 6, 2009
It has taken me 2 years to get to this stage … and if she had forgotten about it she wouldn’t be getting one, but it is the only thing she wants … apart from a real horse, but she’ll have to start saving up for that … maybe hen she’s 30!
Dad Who Writes on October 6, 2009
Five year old has miraculously remained unaffected by peer pressure re DS. possibly because of the GBA he inherited when he was 3. On the other hand, he does effectively have his own laptop.
admin on October 6, 2009
He has his own laptop, I take it we are not talking about a v-tech plastic one!
Dad Who Writes on October 7, 2009
Nope. He’s effectively inherited my previous PowerBook, though he’s never been officially ‘given’ it. But he has his own log-in (and carefully vetted web and application access). His typing isn’t bad for 5 and three quarters.
admin on October 7, 2009
The 5 year old likes typing – might have to employ her to write blog posts for when I have bloggers block!
Mwa on October 6, 2009
When my husband was in the UK for a long weekend my 5-year old cried because he missed the DS.
admin on October 6, 2009
Love that your husband steals your 5 year old’s DS!
Tam on October 6, 2009
Maybe she’ll play with it for a little while then go back to the singing, drawing and make-believe?
admin on October 6, 2009
… and then I can sell it on ebay? I like your thinking.
Bare Naked Mummy on October 6, 2009
Thank god and I thought it was only me who had this problem. Bel who is also 5 (or 5 and three quarters if you ask her) also wants one for Christmas and I am loathe to do so.
I may have to ask the grandparents to get her one if only for the fact that they are so expensive!
BNM
admin on October 6, 2009
I think the grandparents are going to have to supply games for my 5 year old. The DS is expensive enough, so she’ll just have to sit and look at it without the games …. No, I’m not that cruel!
Scope on October 6, 2009
I once “counted signs” on a 6 hour roadtrip. I remember it being in the thousands. Luckily I was not forced to walk home.
And you know you haven’t solved the problem, right. Now there lil bro’ will ask, “Where’s mine?” You seriously think they’ll share next road trip?
admin on October 6, 2009
Ah yes .. I hadn’t really thought about that … maybe I can suggest he counts road signs? Thanks for the tip!
Jo on October 6, 2009
We have both DVD player in van and handheld games. They do both have a limit – no DVDs unless traveling more than two hours and we limit the time on the games (unless in the car for along distance then it’s a free for all!). It’s a fight, but if they struggle with me too much, I just take it away. It doesn’t take them long to learn that lesson!
admin on October 6, 2009
Will definitely have to set out some rules early on, to save my sanity.
Z on October 6, 2009
Long road trips are a misery for a child and its parents. I’d go for anything that will relieve the boredom for them and stress for you.
As for the DS, I don’t underestimate the importance to a child of fitting in. It can be left out of conversations and friendships if the parents insist on preserving the sanctity of childhood when no one else’s parents do. Popular culture is wildly important, and not only when you’re a child – I bet you remember all the words of all those adverts and all the songs and programmes from your childhood, however trashy they now seem, and still actually like them. I used not to realise this was important, but I’m old now and have learned better.
With my children, my stipulation was that things stayed downstairs in the living rooms – kitchen, sitting room, whatever. They still had to be part of the family, not disappear to their bedrooms, and I played the games too.
admin on October 6, 2009
Thanks for the tips, I’m sure we’ll find a balance.
English Mum on October 6, 2009
Ah, now, you see, being a total old fart and parent of teenagers, we’ve done it all: DS, PSP, DSi, Gameboys, XBoxes…you name it.
You didn’t hear me say this, but get her the DS. The silence is soooooo worth the guilt.
admin on October 6, 2009
You are very naughty EM.
Victoria on October 6, 2009
We haven’t succumbed yet, and our oldest is 7. I’m not sure why, we actually have one in the house (mine, I sometimes play scrabble on it, I know, I’m very exciting) which she occasionally asks to play, but I usually say I can’t find it or something. I don’t know why I’m not keen, I think it’s that I don’t want the singing and imaginary games to stop either. Also, trying to drag them away from the TV is a nightmare, so having more things to drag them away from doesn’t appeal.
admin on October 6, 2009
See – maybe overexposure is the key. Maybe I should buy us all one, then we shall all get bored and sell them and buy several nice family games.
Memories Dad on October 6, 2009
It’s like a drug for my 9-year-old. The other day he smuggled it into his bedroom and I caught him under the covers playing lego StarWars at 11.30pm. It’s now been confiscated (for a bit)!
admin on October 6, 2009
So not only do I need a DS but I need a time delay safe too?! no one mentioned that!
Ju on October 6, 2009
That’s funny. We used to play kidnaped kids on long trips., back in the 70s.
So far, no DS here, my nearly five year old is still wishing for a bike, so that’s OK.
admin on October 6, 2009
We did the bike thing last year … think we may have peaked to early!
whistlejacket on October 6, 2009
This is a tricky one. My 3 year old has discovered my pink DS and loves it (even though it was meant to be hidden from him). I like the idea of delaying these things until they’re much older but I don’t know how realistic it is. As a child I whiled away long car journeys fighting with my brother and sister in the back. Mum and Dad were probably longing for games consoles and DVDs to be invented.
admin on October 7, 2009
I had visions of them being around 10 before they laid their hands on such things but realistically it’s impossible. Well it’s not, but I’d be very unpopular!
Claire on October 7, 2009
I feel your pain – I am having the same dilemma. Ds1 is 5 in December, and has on his list a Wii game (which is may be lucky enough to get) and a DS (which he will not). He spends far to much time glazed at the laptop already, and besides, I managed without one!
I suspect I am a very mean Mummy, and he will probably never forgive me (or Father Christmas). I have toyed with the idea of makng him play constantly on the Wii for 24 hours to see if the flooding thing might out him off, but I supect it will make his addiction worse!
mrs worthington on October 7, 2009
Sometimes giveing them what they really really want is so totally worth it. Giving She-ra a hamster for christmas, even though I am totally opposed to pets as presents, was totally worth it and unbelivebly cheap too. Plus we had long chats afterwards about how Father Christmas got it down the chimney etc. Can’t say that about a DS though.
Claire Lancaster on October 8, 2009
Our portable DVD player is the best money I have ever spent – it has secured my sanity on many a journey from our home in the North West to our holiday cottage in North Cornwall – five hours on a good run with no stops! I know what you mean about the DS but all things in moderation, impressive patience has been shown and as the teenage years advance the opportunities to spoil your babes will get fewer – a little bit of what you really want and have waited is good for the soul! Cx