If you are wondering why he would do such a thing …?

I asked him and I got the same deranged look as you see here in this photo.

4 year old - 1st birthday = toddler slide, 2nd birthday = toddler trampoline, 3rd birthday = big slide, 4th birthday = 2 seated swing.

This birthday we are thinking a big trampoline. We were thinking guinea pig but how much fun can you have with a guinea pig compared to a trampoline … and why do I keep wanting to type trumpoline and snigger like a 4 year old?

Luckily, whatever the 4 year old gets for her birthday is bought with the two of them using it together in mind.

How bad is ’second child with Winter birthday syndrome’ in this house?

Well, let me tell you, my poor poor boy …

3 year old - 1st birthday = can’t remember, 2nd birthday = nope, it escapes me, 3rd birthday = Sportacus dressing up outfit … which I kept back from Christmas.

The 3 year old’s birthday is just over a month after Christmas. It’s around the time we remove batteries from irritating Christmas presents (usually bought by someone with no children) and pretend they don’t work anymore … It’s around the time we stuff things in charity bags to make room for the excess Christmas presents … It’s shared with the husband.

He really doesn’t seem to notice though. He had a party this year and last (see, not such a bad mother) … with cake (not homemade … did you see the muffins?).  But, I do think in a year or two we really need to address the second child winter birthday issue.

Until then he can share in his sister’s ‘first born summer birthday lucky bugger syndrome’.

Thank god we’re not having any more children … what on earth would ‘third child, can’t remember your name let alone your birthday’ get?

This is chief suspect, Stealth Boy, also known around these parts as the 3 year old. He looks a bit like Sportacus but don’t be deceived.

Over recent times he has been getting up very early, sometimes undetected, and it is believed that his latest covert operation is in full swing.

He leaves calling cards all over the house, evidence of his early morning work.

For instance, over recent weeks, I have found the following oddities which have a distinct whiff of ‘3 year old’;

1. I start to read my book. After a few minutes I realise that either a) I have read the chapter already or b) I have travelled forward in time. My bookmark has been moved.

2. I pick up an apple from the fruit bowl. It already has a single child sized bite mark.

3. There is a beautiful yellow crayon sunshine on the dining room wall.

4. Deleting messages from my mobile phone sent items I come across a message to a friend’s phone saying ‘fogypipy jambegy?’.

5. A tub of fish food has been opened and upturned on the 13 year old’s bed.

6. Three tulips out of 6 in a vase looking the as if they have been attacked with a sword.

7. Five calculators open on the computer desktop.

8. A biscuit barrel with half its contents missing and a trail of crumbs …

9. A lipstick crushed into its lid.

and the grand finale, crime of the century …

10. A beanbag minus its innards.

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