Me - “You do know that Father Christmas is watching ALL the time” … said approximately 382 times this week.
The 5 year old - “The Santa we saw in the village last week is not the same as the one at the Christmas party today is it Mummy? He had a different beard.”
The 3 year old - “It’s eye is broken and it’s stopped talking” … when asked what was wrong with the Teenager’s fish which was dead.
The 5 year old - “They are not bongos, they are my breasts” … when she decided to try a bit of freestyle boob slapping on Sunday morning.
The 3 year old - “How do you make the moon?” … deviating from his normal ‘but why?’
The 5 year old - “I do not like cake or buns. I do like icing though” … clearly no child of mine.
The 3 year old - “If you drink beer you are not allowed to drive because you will crash and die”
The 5 year old - “The little boy on the TV has a big head and he works in an office” … watching the film Elf.
Me - “Darling, that isn’t a child with a big head, it’s a dwarf”
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TheMadHouse on December 8, 2009
Ah dead. We are gooing though a deaded phase at the moment. We are also going through a very embarrassing Minimad saying things in in appropriate places. “Mummy why is that man big and back”?, “you have a big belly mummy”, ” I am going to cut off my boobs like you mummy” on and on and on. Wonderful.
Oh and I only let the boys see one Father Christmas!!!
Rosie Scribble on December 8, 2009
Ahh! Cute! I like the explanation for the teenager’s fish!
geriatric mummy on December 8, 2009
They are so funny at this age. The most memorable one I’ve heard was from my then three year old nephew. His grandmother had recently died, and on the day that the family were going to scatter her ashes, the mood clearly sombre, said three year old explained that they were going to ’scatter grandma’s eyelashes’ all the tension evaporated and there where smiles and laughter all round…priceless
bubblegumbodw on December 8, 2009
We too only let 3yr old see 1 ‘Farmer Christmas’, to avoid him spotting the difference!
We recently had, ‘That lady is wearing a very, very VERY big dress!’…..hasty exit from Hamley’s cafe..
Anonymous on December 8, 2009
Priceless! They are so funny!
One of mine, aged 4, at supermarket till said (loudly, don’t they always?)
“Ew! is that a man or a lady?”
(me) A lady, darling
“Well she’s got a mooostache! !
(me) Lets go….
Diney on December 8, 2009
Priceless! They are so funny.
Mine aged 4 in supermarket
“Is that a lady or a man, mummy?”
Me (hissed response) “A lady, darling”
“Ew! But she has a big, bushy mooostache”
Me(red) Let’s go…
Carly (Wives and Daughters) on December 8, 2009
Aaaw these are hilarious! I can not wait until Baby Belle starts talking!!!
She said mama for the 1st time this morning, I have been soooo excited. But I can only get her to repeat and say it again when she has a carrot or rice cracker in her mouth
She has had a few today 
xxx
Jodie at Mummy Mayhem on December 9, 2009
I, in a moment of insanity, went bra shopping with the 2yr old yesterday. He kept touching all the bras hanging up, squeezing them and saying, “Boobies, boobies, boobies.”
I pity any future girlfriends.
Victoria on December 9, 2009
We say that the real Father Christmas is so busy getting ready at this time of year that he asks his friends to help out with visiting children. They’ve all bought that one.
Dulwich divorcee on December 9, 2009
I’m now turning the tables on my girls, saying loudly ‘you can see that boy’s pants’ when fit young teenage lads stroll past displaying fashionable strips of calvins. It’s great fun, I can now see why toddlers do it
Scriptor Senex on December 10, 2009
How I wish I had been blogging when my children were young. I captured a few of their sayings in writing but missed so many. A great little collection you have there – I love the fish with the broken eye that had stopped talking (or is it a bit sick to single that one out, sorry.)